So, you think your adult family members are in an adult consensual incestuous relationship. I prefer to call this a consanguinamorous relationship. But whichever term you prefer, the situation is the same. What should i do?, you ask.... Well, the short answer is don't do anything. I mean, they are adults, they are in a loving relationship, they are happy with each other. Why would you want to interfere? I am sure you wouldn't want someone to interfere in your relationship.
But it's gross you say? Well that's ok if you think it's gross. You may also think oral sex is gross, or anal sex is gross, or gay sex is gross, or sex between people of different races is gross. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But in each of the situations I just mentioned, You would not interfere, because all of these situations are protected under the law now. So just because you think it is gross does not give you the right to interfere just because you personally think something is gross.
But adult consensual incest is illegal you say? Ok, currently consanguinamory is illegal in many places but not everywhere. 3 examples are New Jersey, Rhode Island, and Ohio. If you don't believe me, just go have a look at the state statutes. It is illegal for your family members to get married, yes. But in those three states i listed, they are not breaking any laws by living together, loving each other, or having sex with each other. And as time changes, the laws will change too. It was not that long ago that it was illegal for different races to be together. It was not long ago that it was illegal for gay people to get married. Just because a law exists does not mean it should be enforced. Some laws really need to be changed. And any laws that seek to prevent adults that are in consensual relationships from being together definitely need to be changed.
But they could have deformed children you say? That argument is old and tired. The chances of deformities are minimal at best. There are many couples who are not related who carry recessive or dominant genes for dwarfism, Tay-Sachs, Club Foot syndrome, Bipolar disorder, Schizophrenia, Downs Syndrome, and women over the age of 35. All of these things I just mentioned have a risk of being passed on to the genetic children, and we do not forbid people in these categories from reproducing. Just as we should not prevent people who are consanguinamorous from having children. This should be a personal choice that is the decision of the people involved.
What you SHOULD do is ask yourself the same things you would ask if your family member was in any other relationship. Are they abusive towards each other? Are they loving towards each other? Are they happy together? Are they hurting anyone by being together? By asking the same questions you would ask when you see any other people in relationships you will come to realize that your best course of action is not to interfere, but rather to be supportive. Or to be neutral. It really is none of your business. Just like your relationship, sex life, and happiness is nobody else's business either.
I hope this post helps family members of consanguinamorous people to get some of their questions answered. If you have further questions or need to speak with me confidentially, please
contact me.