Open letter to Monica Mares and Caleb Peterson

Dear Monica Mares and Caleb Peterson,

I am a Legal Secretary and advocate for the rights of consenting adults to have love, sex, residence and marriage with any and all consenting adults.

I have been following your story on the internet closely and I think it is absolutely awful that law enforcement is prosecuting you both. You are both consenting adults and the government has absolutely no business in your bedroom.

I have experience with GSA so I completely understand what you both are going through. I congratulate you on finding love and happiness together.

Due to the oppressive laws that you both are forced to live and love under, I feel deeply for you and your situation.

If you are reading this, please know that you have a friend, ally, and advocate in me. I want to help you in any way I can. I would welcome contact and would do anything I could to help you.

Please check out my website www.lilysgardener.com

If you want to contact me completely confidentially, please email me at lilysgardener@protonmail.com

Kind Regards to you both, Cristina

Consanguinamory and dealing with the police

Dealing With the Police

When people are in consanguinamorous relationships, they must sometimes deal with the police unfortunately. So this article will cover how to deal with the USA law enforcement when they come to your house. This will not cover traffic stops or anything outside the home.

You may wonder how it would come about that the police might come knocking on your door. There are several scenarios in which this could happen. Some possibilities include a neighbor becoming suspicious of your relationship and calling the police. Or an ex lover may start to suspect, or know about your relationship and call the police. Or a teacher may become suspicious if your child accidentally says something without knowing they are incriminating you. Or you may mention your situation to your trusted Doctor and then the doctor breaks confidentiality and calls the authorities. Any of the scenarios I just mentioned could lead to the police knocking on your door to question you or investigate you.

One of the biggest mistakes people make in this situation is to open the door and to answer the questions the police ask. DO NOT admit to your relationship if you live in a state where adult consensual incest is illegal. You may assume that if you reassure the police that both of you are adults and are both consenting to incestuous sex that the police will go away. This is NOT true in most places, and you are incriminating yourself by admitting to your relationship. So rule number 1 never never never admit to a sexual relationship with your relative. Deny deny deny is ALWAYS the best course of action if you have already answered the door. The police need proof to bring charges. Do not give them proof by admitting to anything.

Another thing most people do not know is that if the police knock on your door, you DO NOT have to answer the door at all. Once you make the mistake of opening the door, the police are going to want to pressure you into inviting them inside your house. The police are like vampires, they cannot come inside without a search warrant unless they are invited. They will use all sorts of scare tactics, intimidation, and threats to get you to invite them in so they can have a look around. Just ignore the door. If the police have a search warrant, then they can bust the door down and come in without your permission. If they knock and they do not have a search warrant, then they will knock and pound on the door and if you ignore them, they will go away eventually. You are under no obligation to open the door just because it is the police that are knocking.

If you make the mistake of opening the door for them, they can use dirty tricks like wedging their foot in the door so you cannot close it again. So it is always best to ignore the knocking. But if you do happen to make the mistake of opening the door, then the questions will begin. As soon as they ask you the first question, the best thing to do is ignore the question, and ask them for their search warrant. If they do not have one, then the next thing you should do is say the magic words, I want my attorney present before you question me on anything. These magic words will cause the police to stop all questions until your attorney is present to assist you. 

If the police persist after you say this, then I highly recommend you begin recording their behavior. Grab your phone and activate the camera. Let them know that you are recording the conversation or filming it. This will usually discourage them from terrorizing you further at your residence. It is amazing how well they behave when they know they are being recorded. This is a very powerful tool and you should always utilize recording options when they are available to you. 

It is unfortunate that the police in the USA are like a terrorist organization in itself. The police will always stick together, and they are not here to help you. They can bully you, lie to you, intimidate you, and threaten you and this behavior is perfectly acceptable to them. 

So knowing all of this, NEVER open the door when the police come knocking. NEVER admit to your relationship with your family member. NEVER answer any questions without your attorney present. And ALWAYS record their behavior when you come into contact with them. By taking these precautions, you can keep you and your family safe from being terrorized by the police. 

Good luck and be safe everyone. And remember THE POLICE ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.

www.lilysgardener.com

I think my family member is in a consanguinamorous (adult consensual incest) relationship, what should I do?

So, you think your adult family members are in an adult consensual incestuous relationship. I prefer to call this a consanguinamorous relationship. But whichever term you prefer, the situation is the same. What should i do?, you ask.... Well, the short answer is don't do anything. I mean, they are adults, they are in a loving relationship, they are happy with each other. Why would you want to interfere? I am sure you wouldn't want someone to interfere in your relationship.

But it's gross you say? Well that's ok if you think it's gross. You may also think oral sex is gross, or anal sex is gross, or gay sex is gross, or sex between people of different races is gross. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But in each of the situations I just mentioned, You would not interfere, because all of these situations are protected under the law now. So just because you think it is gross does not give you the right to interfere just because you personally think something is gross.

But adult consensual incest is illegal you say? Ok, currently consanguinamory is illegal in many places but not everywhere. 3 examples are New Jersey, Rhode Island, and Ohio. If you don't believe me, just go have a look at the state statutes. It is illegal for your family members to get married, yes. But in those three states i listed, they are not breaking any laws by living together, loving each other, or having sex with each other. And as time changes, the laws will change too. It was not that long ago that it was illegal for different races to be together. It was not long ago that it was illegal for gay people to get married. Just because a law exists does not mean it should be enforced. Some laws really need to be changed. And any laws that seek to prevent adults that are in consensual relationships from being together definitely need to be changed.

But they could have deformed children you say? That argument is old and tired. The chances of deformities are minimal at best. There are many couples who are not related who carry recessive or dominant genes for dwarfism, Tay-Sachs, Club Foot syndrome, Bipolar disorder, Schizophrenia, Downs Syndrome, and women over the age of 35. All of these things I just mentioned have a risk of being passed on to the genetic children, and we do not forbid people in these categories from reproducing. Just as we should not prevent people who are consanguinamorous from having children. This should be a personal choice that is the decision of the people involved.

What you SHOULD do is ask yourself the same things you would ask if your family member was in any other relationship. Are they abusive towards each other? Are they loving towards each other? Are they happy together? Are they hurting anyone by being together? By asking the same questions you would ask when you see any other people in relationships you will come to realize that your best course of action is not to interfere, but rather to be supportive. Or to be neutral. It really is none of your business. Just like your relationship, sex life, and happiness is nobody else's business either.

I hope this post helps family members of consanguinamorous people to get some of their questions answered. If you have further questions or need to speak with me confidentially, please contact me.

There is a huge difference between sex with a consenting adult and abuse

When people hear the word "incest", they automatically associate it with abuse. I would like to point out that rape, sex between an adult and a minor, sexual assault, coercion, forced marriage, and child abuse are all horrifying, and damaging to the victim. We have laws that are in place to help deter and prevent these abusive atrocities, and with good reason. 

There is a huge difference between these horribly abusive acts, and sex between consenting adults though. Abusive atrocities deserve heavy penalties and prosecution to the full extent under the law. Sex between consenting adults should not be prosecuted, discriminated against or shamed for sharing love. 

If you are a victim of abuse, I want you to know that you are not alone. And that there are resources to help you heal from the abuse you have suffered. A few I will mention are HAVOCA (Help for Adult Victims of Child Abuse), ASCA (Adult Survivors of Child Abuse), and several others. There are also counselors and psychiatrists in your area that you can google to find. There is no shame in seeking help when you have been a victim of abuse.

For anyone who is a consenting adult in a consensual relationship with another adult consenting family member, you are not alone either. And there is no shame in being in a healthy, happy and loving relationship, even if it is with another adult family member, or even if you are polyamorous and are in consenting relationships with more than one consenting adult.

Relationships between consenting adults whether it be monogamous, polyamorous, polygamous, etc are beautiful. In today's world, many families that fit the social norm suffer from physical, emotional abuse, estrangement, alienation, and divorce. It is sad that these things happen, but we cannot deny the fact that it is quite common. Just as people who are in unconventional relationships that are happy, loving, and are not abusive in any way should not be persecuted, but rather they should be accepted. I mean, as long as everyone is consenting and happy, and nobody is being abused, it is absurd to penalize, prosecute, and discriminate against them. Nor should society try and shame them or make them feel bad for loving another person. They are not hurting anyone.

www.lilysgardener.com

The birth defects argument

There seem to be several common arguments about why people in consanguinamorous relationships should not be in these relationships. The one I am going to address in this post is the argument that incestuous or consanguinamorous couples should not be together or procreate due to the risk of birth defects.

First, I want to point out that just because consenting adults are having sex together does not mean that they plan to procreate. So procreation in itself is not a valid reason to keep consanguinamorous people from being together. 

Furthermore, all people carry recessive traits that can potentially cause birth defects in varying degrees. Some people carry more serious genetic issues than others. But we do not forbid these people from procreating. We do leave that very personal decision up to the individual. 

Some examples of people who are at risk for passing on certain genetic defects to their future children include people who have Clubfoot Syndrome (talipes equinovarus), people with dwarfism, people with Tay-Sachs Disease, people with Sickle Cell trait or disease, people with Bipolar Disorder, people with Schizophrenia, and women over the age of 35. Absolutely none of the genetic issues I just mentioned have any type of law against the person with the issue having children. This choice is a personal choice. And it is the right of every individual to get the facts, assess the risks, and make informed decisions based on the information they collect. 

It should not be any different for couples in consanguinamorous relationships either. Their rates of passing on genetic issues are no higher than any of the conditions I mentioned. In fact, their risk is considerably LOWER than several of the conditions I listed. 

If you think someone should not have children based on their risk of passing on a genetic defect, ask yourself this: If I had one of these genetic issues, would I want someone else deciding whether I can have kids? Or would I want to make that decision myself? 

Each person is entitled to live, love, and procreate as they see fit, as long as they are in non abusive relationships with consenting adults. This should be no different for consanguinamorous people. 


www.lilysgardener.com

If you have suggestions...

If you have suggestions...

My site includes adult consensual relationships, including adult consensual incest, consanguinous relationships, consanguinamory, etc. which are relationships between adult family members. Regardless of if they were raised together or apart, adopted or not adopted. Whether they are monogamous, or poly. Whether they relate to Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA) or not.

This does NOT include relationships between adults over the age of 18 and young people under the age of 18. Nor does this site condone ANY nonconsensual relationships between anyone. Sexual battery and rape ARE abusive and my site DOES NOT support that at all.

With that said, if anyone has ideas, requests for certain articles, topics they would like to see covered on my blog, or anything else related to the things my site covers, please contact me.

Since this is my first time trying my hand at a blog, I welcome input. Thanks !!

www.lilysgardener.com

Do GSA relationships work?

Do GSA relationships work?

Sun, 31st January, 2016

There really isn't a simple answer to what makes ANY relationship work for each individual. Since what works for one person, may not work for another.

Certainly, if there is physical or emotional abuse in ANY relationship then it is not a healthy relationship.

Each individual needs to figure out what they want, and need in their own personal relationship whether it's a heterosexual, homosexual, monogamous, poly, open relationship, or any other type of relationship. Different relationships work for different people. And that goes for anyone in a GSA relationship as well. 

Ideally, if you know what works for you, and the person you are with, then with time, effort, love, communication, trust (basically the same things in any healthy relationship) then yes, a GSA relationship is no different than any other relationship between consenting adults.

www.lilysgardener.com